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Cutting

This is just a page I made to talk about SI and cutting yourself mostly. It's for all those people who don't know about it, or the people who do it. If you're one of those that do it, feel free to talk to me anytime....

Well, first off I guess I'll tell you what cutting is. It's mostly a way that someone lets out his or her anger or pain. Sometimes people cut just to make themselves feel better, other times it's just a way of copeing with life. Most importantly, cutting is not leading up to suicide. Cutting is it's own seperate thing. One of my favorite quotes is,"A friend confides in you that she deliberately cuts herself with a razor blade. What would your reaction be? Self-injury is little understood by most people. The idea of deliberately hurting yourself is seemingly incomprehensible, but for many of those who do exactly this, it is a survival tool, a coping mechanism that enables them to sustain their life through emotionally difficult times. For most of us, cutting or burning our own skin would be incredibly painful and almost impossible to carry out. For cutters, it is a strangely effective coping method for dealing with inner pain so overwhelming it must be brought to the surface ," said by Strong in 1998.

scar.jpeg

Now this is for those of you who dont know about cutting. There are a couple of things that the person may do that are sure signs of it. Heres a list:

*The person always wears long sleeves and pants. In the summer, winter, whenever. So they can hide their scars...its not something they are really proud of.

*They draw, or paint morbid pictures. Depressing, violent, gross pictures using only a couple of colors. Red, Black, and Grey. It shows how they feel on the inside.

*They make sudden movements when you walk in a room. Like shifting their arm underneath them, pulling their sleeves down, and going immediately for a sweat jacket or something to cover up with. Trying to hide their cuts from you.

*Scars or injurys that are very straight and overlap one another.

*They avoid swimming at all costs. Maybe its some lame excuse or something, but they HATE it. When your swimming you have no way to cover up your body and going in the water makes your scars darker and show up more.

panic.jpeg

Now you're probably wondering, how do I know if im able to stop or not? Well heres some stuff that you should have:

1.A stable system of friends, family, and/or professionals that I can talk to when I want to cut.
2.There are at least 2 people I can call when I want to SI
3.You are comfortable talking about my SI with at least 2 other people
4.You have a list of 10 different things I can do when I want to SI
5.You have a place to go if things get bad at home and you want to SI
6.You feel confident enough to get rid of the stuff you cut with
7.You have told at least 2 other people that you are going to stop
8.You are willing to feel uncomfortable, scared, and frustrated
9.You can think about cutting without doing it
10.You want to stop

The last reason is the most important, if you are not ready to stop then dont. Sometimes it can even make your situation worse.

Ok, if you are ready to stop cutting and need some help, heres some ways that will help you feel pain, or release anger, what ever your problem is. You can do these things instead:

1.deep breathing
2.relaxation techniques
3.call a friend, therapist, crisis line
4.try not to be alone
5.take a hot bath
6.listen to music(non-depressing would help)
7.go for a walk
8.write in a journal your feelings and why you think you must cut
9.wear a rubberband around your wrist and snap it if you feel like cutting(this also helps if you have attetion problems)
10.draw red lines with markers or food coloring(if you go and cut over these this is not for you)
11.squeeze ice cubes
12.punch a pillow(its soft, and you can beat the shit outta it)
13.avoid razor blades, knives, anything that you use to cut
14.scream
15.cook
16.break the thing you use to cut(showing you have control over it)
17.wright poams or draw pictures(this is what i do and it seems to help most of the time)
18.wright down reasons why not to hurt yourself
19.cry

I've found some of these help, some dont. Try them all see if it helps.

self_harm.jpeg

Turn her over
A candle is lit
I see through her
blow it out and save all her ashes for me
Curse me
Sold her
The poison that runs its course through her
pale white skin with strawberry gashes
all over - all over

Watch me fault her
You're living like a disaster
She said kill me faster
With strawberry gashes all over

Called her over
and asked her if she was improving
she said feels fine it's wonderful
- wonderful here
Hex me
Told her
I dreampt of a devil that knew her
pale white skin with strawberry gashes
all over
all over

Watch me fault her
You're living like a disaster
She said kill me faster
With strawberry gashes all ove all over

I lay quiet
waiting for her voice to say
"Some things you lose
and some things you just give away"
Scold me
Failed her
If only I'd held on tighter to her pale
white skin that twisted and withered
away from away from

Watch me lose her
It's almost like losing myself
Give her my soul
and let them take somebody else
get away from me
Watch me fault her
You're living like a disaster
Kill me faster with Strawberry gashes
all over
All over ME

cutters.jpeg

i hurt myself today
to see if i still feel
i focus on the pain
the only thing that's real
the needle tears a hole
the old familiar sting
try to kill it all away
but i remember everything

what have i become?
my sweetest friend
everyone i know
goes away in the end
you could have it all
my empire of dirt
i will let you down
i will make you hurt

i wear this crown of shit
upon my liar's chair
full of broken thoughts
i cannot repair
beneath the stain of time
the feeling disappears
you are someone else
i am still right here

what have i become?
my sweetest friend
everyone i know
goes away in the end
you could have it all
my empire or dirt
i will let you down
i will make you hurt

if i could start again
a million miles away
i would keep myself
i would find a way